WANT IT NOW!

I've seen this cute vintage shop down Commercial Street, and I want everything inside so bad! There's a ruffled pink dress in the window at the moment, with my name on it (not literally, that might seriously decrease the value). I've never been inside, as I'm always running late for work and am sprinting past, then it's closed when I pass in the evening. Sucks. Set your alarm, woman, glamour calls!

I have a slight complaint to make. Porn. Why, in this day and age, is it still aimed only at men? Of course I appreciate the beautiful girls, thier surgically enhanced breasts bouncing up and down: it's the stallion they're riding that I have a problem with. The men in pornography are generally chosen for the size of their cocks and their ability to cum on demand. But can't they find guys who are good looking??? It really puts me off when the camera pans out, and some moustached gargoyle is pumping away at the poor Goddess speared on the end of his 9 inch penis. Honestly. As if she would do him in real life. I can't fantasise properly when it's so wildly unrealistic. He wouldn't even ger as far as licking her nipple.

Next time a man comes to fix the washing machine, make him an adonis, ay?