Date tonight

Wish me luck, I have a date tonight. I met the young man in in question on Saturday night, and somehow persuaded him to remove his shirt in the nightclub. Niiiice body. x

Owwwwwwww!!!!!!!!

Eeeee, there's something in my eye and it stings! What is it??? Yowwwwwwwlll : (

Joke

In the spirit of my last blog, I thought I should share this old classic with you:

There once was a little pink lady.  She had a little pink house and
a little pink dress and a little pink dog. This lady sold avon.
 One day the lady was walking down a street selling her avon when
she came across a little red house.  She pressed the doorbell.
 In this little red house lived a little red man.  He was having a
bath in his little red bathtub when he heard his little red doorbell ring.
 "There goes my doorbell!" he said to himself as he clambered out
of his little red bath.  He grabbed a little red towel and put it around
his waist and walked down his little red stairs to his little red door.
 But, when he opened the door, his little red towel slipped and fell
off.  The little pink lady screamed and ran out across the street.  A car
coming down the road and hit her and she died.

Moral: Never cross the street when the little red man is flashing.

Rant at THAT lorry driver

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! I usually walk to work, but on the days that I'm running a bit late (which I confess, is on a fairly regular basis), I take the bus. The stop is on the other side of the road, and I have to wait for two green men to cross due to the constant traffic. However, one lorry decided to park all the way across the crossing, blocking our way. His front was too close to the busy junction, and my efforts to cut behind him were thwarted by his sudden decision to start reversing. By the time we all found a way to cross, my bus was just pulling away. Stupid lorry driver! I had to jog the rest of the way in flip flops, no easy task.

On a lighter note, it's almost lunchtime and I plan to get better acquainted with a toasted ciabatta. Yum.

Back to Normality

Sometimes I crave normality. But not today - I'm still pining for the wild antics of Friday night! Monday, clouds and work really bring you back to the present and remind you that you are just a nice, normal girl on an average wage in an average part of London. Oh where are my diamonds and topless champagne waiters? Hmmm?!

OH. MY. GOD.

I did it. I went to one of the most exclusive Swingers Parties in London. Little old me! Still baffled at how I got on the guest list, you had to submit a photo first to make sure you're gorgeous enough. I thought about taking a girl friend with me, but not everyone's open minded, so thought I'd play it safe and go alone. I was bloody terrified. In the taxi there, my knee was going frantically. I had a couple of vodkas to ease my nerves, but was so worried about being left out if everyone was in couples.

It turned out that I had the best night of my life! It was so surreal, but wonderful. Imagine an amazing nightclub - DJ, champagne, dancing... then throw in a beautiful crowd of people, a jacuzzi and a whole lot of sex. We were all wearing those venitian masks which made it even more surreal. I didn't think that things like this happened in real life! Wow. Met a couple of gorgeous men who I exchanged numbers with; one had a girlfriend with him but she didn't mind at all.

Who would've thought. Me, at a swingers party. Surrounded by gorgeous, rich people. Awesome.

Crept up

Ooooh me God, it's crept up on me. 'Seduction' party is tomorrow. Tomorrow! Tonight will be waxing, plucking, exfoliating, buffing, moisturising. I shall be divine.

Keiran knows all about it, and is already expecting all the gritty details afterwards. Eeeeeeeee!

Wish me luck. Next time you speak to me, I'll be wonderfully defiled : )

x

Brownies

God bless Marissa. She's one of my girlfriends. Not only is she a fabulous cook, but she's also a little bit of a stoner. However, I don't complain as she sometimes brings me a fabulous batch of 'special' brownies. We had some last night with the boys next door and got the best giggles. Only problem with eating it is, when you get the munchies an hour later, you look around the flat and go "oooh, brownies. Yum." And so the viscious circle begins. Giggle, munch, giggle, munch. We could all end up very happy and fat, without jobs. Hehe.

Luckily, the batch ran out eventually, and we all fell asleep in a bundle. I was only a little bit late for work, and my head's only a little bit groggy. Good times : )

Counting down

3 days to go until my sexual extravaganza. Awesome.

I really wanted to tone up before the event so that my body looked really buff, guess I've left it too late now! Must work my curves. No pizza for me!

Excitement

I'M EXCITED, I CAN'T WAIT TIL FRIDAY!!! Is anyone else going to 'Seduction'? I shall see you there... x

Lush

Oh yes. It was lush. I stayed home alone, watched Zoolander on the tele and fed the washing machine. Then went for a bit of internet porn, featuring Eva Evangelista. That girl is very enthusiastic!

If you've read this blog before, you might have seen me mention a hush hush masquerade party where I can get my rocks off. Anyway, I somehow managed to get on the guestlist for next Friday! Cannot wait, it's going to be mad. These things don't only happen on 'Eyes Wide Shut' you know...

And another

Yet another late one for me, I don't think my body is very happy with me! I am very much looking forward to lounging at home in my PJs tonight, oh yes. I don't care if it's the weekend, I miss my bed!

Gorgeous

I met a gorgeous guy at a party last night. Was quite bored as Kieran was horribly late and left me standing by myself, but this young man caught my eye. He said he liked my over-the-knee socks, I let him buy me a drink in appreciation of the socks. I said I liked his lips, he let me give him a snog in appreciation of the lips. A rather good night, I'd say!

Likes & Dislikes

I like shopping.

I like cups of tea.
I like sex.
I like diamonds.

I dislike rain.
I dislike working.
I dislike the lack of handsome men in my bed.
I dislike marmite.

Do you feel like you know me better?

Monday Monday

It ain't so bad. I don't see what all the fuss is about.

Evil Booze

I have a love/hate relationship with alcohol. I love it on Saturday night, and hate it on Sunday morning. My head is very unhappy with me, and don't quite remember where I found this traffic cone that has materialised in my bedroom. Oops a daisy. I must stop being such a piss head!

Getting Buff

Right, I have approximately two weeks until the big event. I need to get buff quickly; gorgeous skin all over, hot figure, luscious hair... any tips? I fully intend on being the centre of attention at this party.

Pampering ahoy!

SUMMERTIME!

Can you believe that summer's here already?! I actually have a bit of sunburn on my shoulders, how absurd. Didn't anyone tell my skin that we live in England?! I'm not exactly fair, I shouldn't burn. Harrumph.

Anyway, enough about that rant. A little bit heart broken today because the vintage polka dot dress I had my eye on has disappeared from the window and been snapped up by some other lucky bugger. I must warn you, if I see you wearing it in the street I may have to wrestle you for it. It SO had my name on it!

On a lighter note, Wednesday means night in - gossip girl and Desperate Housewives. Might even go crazy and do a face mask. Gorgeous!