The mask

So I've ordered myself a beautiful venetian mask, which I intend to wear to one of these parties I mentioned before. Almost peed my pants laughing at Gossip Girl this week; Chuck Bass had flash backs of a sordid, masquerade orgy in a mysterious mansion... that doesn't just happen on TV! I will be there, living the twisted dream...

No good getting myself all worked up now, it's the wrong time of the month for me to get satisfaction. Bloated, urgh.

Cup of tea time!

Bad combo

Champagne. Weed. Shisha. Headache.

When 3 buses come at once

This isn't fair. Last night I had nothing better to do than sit at home and masturbate, whereas tonight I have 3 different invitations! I really should be at home packing so I can go visit the parents this weekend, but you and I both know that's not going to happen. I shall choose the most tempting offer, consume my own body weight in alcohol, eat a nasty take away from Brick Lane then whinge all weekend about how fat I look because of it. Oh yes, you've been there.

P.S - I am not actually fat, I'm a perfect 10 if you must know. But you'll just have to trust me on that.

I'm There

Ok, I've done the research, I am so there. Will fill you in after I've been in a couple of weeks.

Now more importantly, please may someone stop me buying yet another vintage dress?? It's becoming a real weakness!

I need a snog. Feels like ages since I had one. Maybe I should try going to straight bars? Keiran has much more success than me at the moment...

Tra la la la la x

Debauchery

Everyone fantasises about threesomes. Most guys brag about threesomes. But I wonder how many people have genuinely had one? Personally, I've had three. Each time has been with one bloke and another girl, and I think it's about time that I tried two men. It is a little more difficult, as straight guys tend to be a bit funny about fucking in front of another one. And they may well squabble about who gets which hole. But you only live once, and I'm making it my mission to experience it this way round.

Perhaps one of these new, upper class sex parties that are all the rage is the way forward. A couple of my friends have been to events like Killing Kittens, Seduction and Fever, where London's beautiful people congregate in a posh venue and submerse themselves in Champagne and debauchery. Sounds right up my street. None of these middle aged swingers parties, where you're likely to end up in a bed with your old geography teacher or the man who runs the corner shop. Yuck. I want the creme de la creme. Man on man on me, my next mission!

Anticipation

I'm excited, but I don't know why. It feels like anticipation, like something great's coming. Love it. That's what I get from this city, I think I draw from its energy. Me and London, meant to be.

WANT IT NOW!

I've seen this cute vintage shop down Commercial Street, and I want everything inside so bad! There's a ruffled pink dress in the window at the moment, with my name on it (not literally, that might seriously decrease the value). I've never been inside, as I'm always running late for work and am sprinting past, then it's closed when I pass in the evening. Sucks. Set your alarm, woman, glamour calls!

I have a slight complaint to make. Porn. Why, in this day and age, is it still aimed only at men? Of course I appreciate the beautiful girls, thier surgically enhanced breasts bouncing up and down: it's the stallion they're riding that I have a problem with. The men in pornography are generally chosen for the size of their cocks and their ability to cum on demand. But can't they find guys who are good looking??? It really puts me off when the camera pans out, and some moustached gargoyle is pumping away at the poor Goddess speared on the end of his 9 inch penis. Honestly. As if she would do him in real life. I can't fantasise properly when it's so wildly unrealistic. He wouldn't even ger as far as licking her nipple.

Next time a man comes to fix the washing machine, make him an adonis, ay?

Unfair

This is not fair. My head hurts and I'm not even hungover! Maybe wine would fix it??

I'm considering going to Tranny Shack in Soho tomorrow night, it's been a while. You can't beat a boned corset that squeezes the life out of you and gives you a 22 inch waist. Gorgeous.

FB wanted

Oh. I want a new man to play with. Toys are all well and good, but it's not the same. The problem with me is that I get bored so quickly. I don't mean to be a heartbreaker, but I'm so enthusiastic at the beginning of a fling/relationship, then the novelty wears off and 2 weeks later I can't stand the sight of my 'beau'. It has been a while since someone really gave me butterflies, I miss that.

Come on London, there's plenty of fish here. Bring on the butterflies.

Memory Loss

Now I know there was vodka, and a large amount of people... Can't really tell you much more than that! From what I can deduct, a fun time was had by all and we're all equally hungover. I woke up in a bed with Keiran and Matt (a guy I've been dating casually), so who knows how much I got up to last night!

Now off in search of food, the cupboards are empty again...


P.S - My friend bought me a new vibrator, the Ann Summers 'Promises'. God bless that girl, can't wait to try it!

Now where's that cocodamol?

Wooooooooo!

Now that title took a lot of effort, considering the magnitude of my hangover. A fabulous time was had by one and all last night, and there were some amazing outfits. One of my favourites was a bald man who covered his whole head in diamonds! Bravo, sparkly slap head.

I had a dance on the stage with some transvestites, drank my own body weight in wine, then heavily made out with a well known homosexual man. Some of these gay guys are a little bit bi, methinks! It was great though, he is beautiful. I like a good snog.

Hope you're having a gorgeous day so far x

Excitement

I can feel it bubbling up inside me! Excitement that is, not gas.
I'm going to the Glitter Party at Pacha tonight, can't wait! I love an excuse to dress up to the extreme, the kind of outfit you can only wear after dark. I'm planning on going as the party suggests - covered in glitter. I shall be like Tinkerbell, shedding pixie dust wherever I go! A sparkling trail in my wake.

I'm going with my flatmate, Kieran. He's as camp as Christmas and enjoys the flamboyant gay scene almost as much as I do. Technically, I'm mostly straight - but do like to dabble a bit. I mean, who's going to say no to a nice pair of breasts? (Well actually, Kieran, for starters).

Hope you all have a stupendous evening, and remember: Don't eat mud.

Lots of love xxx

Which part of my ear?

So I got something pierced, but not really sure what it's called. The part of my ear that's above the trag, sort of inside. Looks good though! I found this sweet little place in Soho, underground. I love the smell of tattoos, nothing else like it. On discovering that I hadn't yet eaten, the tattooed stud muffin sent me back upstairs before he'd agree to pierce me. He didn't want a girl fainting from low blood sugar on his hands! Just outside, I found Ed's Diner, the 50s American eaterie. Love it! I played 'Twist & Shout' on the mini duke box and ate a slice of Pecan Pie. Check me.

Then he agreed to stick his giant needle through me.

In the evening, I made myself an elaborate head piece that I might wear this weekend - it loooks something like this:

Have a wonderfully glamorous day!

Cocktails

I don't care if it was a Monday or not, I wanted cocktails. Met up with a guy I haven't seen for literally years, and did a little bar crawl around Soho and Covent Garden. Had the sexy bartender in LAB make me something sweet with citrus, that went down very well indeed. Wish his pants had come down that easily, but you can't have it all I guess.

My outfit was rather extravagant; I went for head to toe gold with killer heels (which don't go too well with cobble stone roads). Some tourists came up to take photos of me, funny! They must have either thought I was famous or just a bit odd. Either's fine by me!

I'm bored now. Maybe I'll go and get something pierced.

Welcome

Well hello there, and welcome to my blog.

Unlike many, I have a very exciting life and I thought it was worth writing about. I'm sure you'd love to hear about it...

I'm a single girl living in central London, I'm bisexual and I like to party. Hard. Feel free to join me, you know you want to ; )

xXx